Dear young sisters,
Warm Christian greetings from Cape Town, South Africa in the name of out loving Lord Jesus Christ. I have been a pastor's wife for 31 years and in the beginning i found that i had to learn to concentrate on my priorities - my husband, home, children and service to others. I had to find God's purpose for me - that of being a godly wife and godly mother, pastor's wife, and to surrender to it.
I wrote the following article because I realize that the way girls are reared and taught and choices they make can greatly affect their future and in particular their married life. Making the transition from independence, sophistication and control of matters to a life of submission can be difficult. Having these makes it even more difficult to surrender in other area's of one's life and can become a hinderance to God's blessing. It is with this thought in mind that I have written the following article:
We live in a generation where the ideas of the feminists and woman liberalists infiltrate every area of our lives and negatively influence the existence of the traditional family structure. The leadership of man is rejected and, in fact, the man has been misplaced in society. The resultant loss in the process is the true girlshood and femininity.
Girls are now groomed from an early age to be independent and to aspire to worldly accomplishments. However, in former years she was taught to be lady-like and do girlish things. Now with outmoded femininity, society promotes the working world as having much more to offer her. Subsequently, the girl dreams of the office she is going to hold or of holding her own in a man's world.
The teen and young woman should not allow these philosophies to grab of her heart and mind. Nothing can bring a girl so complete to joy and peace of mind as when she follows God's purpose for her like. She should come to know and love this purpose, which is a worthy goal to hope for, live for and work for.
God knows what will bring her happiness. He created her female to delight herself in doing womanly things, because He has a plan and design for her life. She is created for someone special and her calling is to be his helpmeet and the queen of his kingdom.
In the teenage years, girls find themselves being very conscious of the idea of falling in love and all that goes with it. This however should be a time of preparation. She needs to develop her character by the Word of God for the vital role she would fulfill later on.
It is essential for her to submit to the right influences and to accept the guidance of special guardians of her soul. There are many pitfalls that may cause her to live with regret for the rest of her life. Other ideas seemingly good by today's standards can distract her from reaching her God-given potential.
First, it is most important for her to surrender her life to God so that her heart can be filled with attitudes and thoughts of obedience to His Word. Her present role is to be a good daughter. This will prepare her for her intended role as a helpmate.
So, a good daughter seeking to folow God's order for her life, will do so by obeying her parents, honouring their guidelines, especially concerning friends. She will form habits of kindness and love for them and respect for their authority. They should be her best friends, although at times she may be inclined to think otherwise. Even parents who are not'exemplary' are in need of her respect. In spite of their failures, they love her more than she may think. Parent's opinions and ideas may oftne differ from hers and seem old-fashioined, yet they have her best interests at heart. They aim to protect her against temptations that surround her during this time of her life. Instead of contending for her own way, a daughter ahould try to see their point of view and pray for wisdom and guidance for her parents.
It is also good to speak openly about disappointments and problems. Parents will be honoured by the confidence placed in them. Even if something told them is shocking, there are few parents that will not help a daughter recover after a setback. A girl's mother, not one of her girlfriends, should be her most confidential friend to whom she may tell her secrets.
To guard the purtiy of her body and soul, a girl should be trustworthy. She should be obedient to rules even when out of sight and not hold secrets of her activities and whereabouts from her parents. Her obedience developed during girlhood and trust in their ability to care for her will carry into later life. It will be easier for a girl to be sweet and submissive in her future role if she is sweet and submissive to her father. Every girl shoul follow this principle for Lordship with her father. Often he is not counted in a daughter's life. yet the father has the final say in what a daughter says or desires to do. He can even overrule any promises she makes (Numbers 30:3-5), His power is not meant to be unkind or unfair, it is to safeguard her from any impulsive or hasty decision she may make.
So a girl should ask her father's opinion often, listen to his view on matters and follow his caounsel on everything she intends to do. A good daughter can do much to make her parents duties a pleasure. By showing appreciation in various ways, they will feel rewarded fro their untiring labours of love. Sadly, many girls can be very sweet and helpful in other homes yet fail to be kind and do their share in their own homes. Serving loved ones and brightening the lives of others with acts of kindnesses are signs of a courteous and thoughtful daughter.
Common amongst girls are the not so good topics of discussion. Tremendous pressure is exerted on one another to take a undue interest in boys. It will take moral courage to remake these conversations or to break from such associations. A girl should have a happy, open friendship with her boy acquaintances. There is then a chance to get to konw boys as they are and in their true light. As yet, there should not be anything in these friendships such as a special attachment formed. No girl will do herself justice if she allows familiarities to become too accessible or available to boys.
There is also a tendency fro girls to pollute their minds on impure reading material (romance, novels etc.). All these will give rise to all sorts of fantasies and cause the girl to become older than her years. A truly beautiful girl is one who has the right priorities in dressing, which reflects her belief in God. It is a known fact that only the best character can be attracted to her whose dress and conduct are modest and feminine.
Since all of a girl's life is in training for a future high calling, she should take care in the choice of a life
work . Today it is considered foolish for a girls to make homemaking a career. A home-maker's life is considered boring and unfulfilling. Due to the direction of long-term careers. Many girls enter the business world and other occupations taht lead them out of the home.
There is nothing wrong in a desire to learn and if there is an opportunity to study, it may broaden the mind. Yet we may ask, "What is she training for?" A career can take her away from her intended role. It may lead to a qualification and independance that may be difficult to surrender one day. The years of study, if not used professionally, might have a tendency to be considered wasted on a home and family. Many other disadvantages may arise later on, which will be hard for her to overcome. The greatest harm to consider is a desire to continue work after marriage. Ultimately it will not be for the good of the family. It takes great strength of character and moral courage to put the needs of loved ones above one's oen desires and personal development. Both heartpower and brainpower is needed to balance the physical and emotion needs of a family and to make a haven of her home. What every girl will need most above all her other accomplishments is a knowledge of good old-fashioned housekeeping skills. Her work will be a real service in which her presence and influence morally and spiritually will be felt and be of benefit. Most important is her setting an example of a godly woman for her family - one that can be followed by other girls and honored by boys.
Even if called to a life of singlehood, the girl has opportunities to reflect purity in all things, a self-sacrificing life lived for other and the serenity that comes from a spirit-filled life. In spite of her achievements and self-sufficiency, it is beautiful to see a lovely and vivacious young girl, feminine in all her ways, loving the Lord with all her heart. Her calling is to a special realtionship with God Himslef, wherein she can concentrate on serving the Lod and pleasing only Him. She also is alive to using her god-given talents and abilities by being a steady witness of submission to Christ.
In conclusion an upright daughter is like a precious kind of tribute, and an achievement in a world where it is so hard to find a girl who is lady-like. To parents she is a special adornment, a projection of mother and a sign of their example and loving direction. To a husband she is a'crown' that he openly and proudly displays, as he reguards her highly. Therefore the ultimate purpose for a girl in whatever position she finds herself is to become more like Christ and to know that in the process of pouring out her life to others, she is fitted into God's huge and perfect pattern for good.
Your Sister In Christ,
Sis. Ernestine Beckett